Crying at Movies

I was listening to the radio the other day, and the DJ’s were talking about movies that guys cry at. One of the guys said that he never cries or has cried at a movie. The other admitted too much stating that he cries all the time at movies. Then the radio show proceeded to take a number of calls from men admitting to crying in different movies. One caller stated that he cried when he watched Ladder 49.
Many men will tell you that they cried in Brian’s Song, and also in Rudy. As a man, I am willing to accept that there are certain movies in which a man may cry. This does not give a man license to cry in any movie of his choosing. That is never OK. The general rule is that a man MAY NOT cry in a movie. I repeat that for emphasis, a man MAY NOT cry in a movie. Now that we have the rule, we look to the few exceptions in which a man may cry. These would be affirmative defenses to the rule.
The movie Brian’s Song, is an acceptable movie during which a man may cry. Rudy is not. The premise of Rudy is that a short no talent average Joe walks on to the Notre Dame football team and gets to play in the last game of his senior season. Nothing sad happens, and no one dies. The emotion that it evokes is joy. There is no excuse for a man to be crying during a movie because he is overwhelmed by joy. The only reason to cry is based upon sad emotion.
The list of movies couldn’t be any bigger than 5 long. I can’t think of all the movies, but I am sure that there can’t be any more than that. Another movie that I am willing to concede is Braveheart. There, throughout the length of the movie, the audience creates a strong bond with the character of William Wallace, and at the end he is tortured and killed. That is a very emotional scene and may give grounds for a man to cry.
But just because someone dies, even a main character, in a movie doesn’t give a man a right to cry. The man who cried during Ladder 49, probably needs to go and put on his skirt. That is not on the short list of movies at which a man may cry. The movies on this short list need to evoke such a sadness over a man and do it in a manly way. The movie itself needs to be manly. The two movies that I have conceded fall into these boundaries. They are manly movies that evoke an sad emotion in a manly way. Should a man CHOOSE to cry during these movies, he would be excused. Finally, I need to state that a man never need to cry in a movie, and in nearly all cases should not cry. A man is guilty if he cries in a movie and is only excused if the movie is on the short list.